As shared by a friend of mine:
“I always believed that sacrifice is a great virtue and the one who sacrifices is a great leader or a good human being.
I have heard many stories in my childhood that glorified the sacrifice and the sacrificer. And the metaphors that kept coming were a candle or a ladder. For most of the questions, one fitting definition that made sense was ‘the one who sacrifices’.
As I grew up I started making small sacrifices and I would feel happy that I could sacrifice; that i could give up things for others. I felt happy that I could sacrifice for my near and dear ones. Be it what to have for breakfast or where to go. It started with small things. ‘Giving up’ became so easy that ‘asking sorry’ wasn’t a problem at all. I would ask sorry so easily. Most of the times I wouldn’t have an opinion at all – I would simply go with the other person – because I liked sacrificing.
Life taught me lessons. Experiences in life helped me understand how ‘sacrificing’ isn’t a good dynamism in relationships. The one who sacrifices goes through pain. Even though one might wilfully do so, he or she has a pain or loses something. People who did not value my sacrifice pushed me towards my learning. I had life disguised through some good souls who taught me the importance of win-win. They shared that ‘you need not have to go through pain or give up something for others to be happy.’ That was an eye opener. I started looking for win-win now in new contexts. Thank you to life, experiences, the ones who did not value my sacrifice and the good souls more importantly.”
Taking it a step further – it’s best to not get the word sacrifice into our lives. If you see, there’s no such thing as a sacrifice really that makes you feel bitter. A soldier is ready to sacrifice his life for the sake of his country and he’s proud about it. That’s his love for his homeland. A parent bends backwards to take care of the child and they are joyful about it. That’s their love for the child. Likewise, whatever we do or don’t do is because that person matters to us and it gives a joy to see them happy. OR, we didn’t have the strength/conviction to stand up for what we believed in. Either case, we can’t call it a sacrifice. We did something for the joy or the fear of something or someone.
So, does that mean there is nothing called sacrifice in this world. May be very very few things can fall into that category. But the key point to remember is that sacrifice isn’t a word to be used to make others feel obligated towards us, grateful to us or, or for us to feel bitter about life, people or the good that we do. It demeans all that we have done when we call it a sacrifice and expect some sort of recognition or pay-back for it.
One beautiful way to lead our life is to think win-win at all times. Whether others do so or not, its important for YOU to operate on a win-win basis. You can make a difference when you think that way. And hence, you must do your bit! When there is abundance in this world, why practice scarcity in any form?