We always have the best of intentions. But when it comes to influencing, we fall short somewhere. As a parent, as a companion, as a friend, as a well-wisher – why is it that we aren’t able to translate our well-meaning intentions to have a beautiful influence on those around us? What are we missing?
Below are 3 ground rules for any of us who wish to have a great influence on people:
- Don’t hurt others’ ego. If you hurt people’s ego, they’ll never be open to listening to you. Hurting egos is like breaking the house in which they live. Unless they are evolved, they may not be able to handle it well. No influence can happen unless you have rapport.
- Be gracious. We don’t know their background. We don’t know what makes people choose to be the way they are. Who knows what misery is behind that smile or that anger. Who knows what fears are they trapped in? Give a benefit of the doubt. There’s a story behind every saint and every sinner.
- Don’t have an agenda to change them or teach them. People learn when they feel the need. Not because you or I feel the need. Enable others to find their answers. But don’t be on an agenda to help, teach, or change anyone. You will only be draining your energies by doing so. Instead, be such an inspiring example that they learn from you even without their knowledge. Don’t work on their weakness. Work with them on their strengths. There’s something good in everyone. See it, celebrate it, and help them realise it too.
When we follow the above, one thing is guaranteed – peace of mind! When we aren’t trying to prove others, when we aren’t trying to analyse and judge others, and when we are ready to observe and let go without adding every particle to our own selves, we will stop carrying others’ monkeys on our backs. We will be a lot nicer, kinder, and peaceful. Thereby, we will have the best form of influence. Wishing you all that and more!