There are 3 things that fuel problems to grow:
- Inability to notice the smaller warnings – Majority of our problems would have had indicators or small warnings beforehand. We don’t take action for all the smaller indications, which turn to warnings and eventually translate into dangers. If we wait for indicators to convert to dangers, that’s when life seems out of control. If you are overwhelmed with work, what could you have done differently? Could you have planned or organised yourself any better? Could you have sought help or delegated earlier? When we wait till the last minute, we don’t leave ourselves enough response time. That’s when we get into react or panic mode.
- Inability to isolate. Our capacity to blow things out of proportions and spill them in all areas. Viewing things in perspective is a great skill that one must have at all times in life. When we aren’t viewing things in perspective, we may be generalising things and bundling them up together. We fail to see what’s unique about a situation. And unless we see what the situation demands, we can’t possibly do what is required. Hence, it is very important to not pile up things and view our life itself like a disaster.
- Saying things like ‘my life is a mess’ – might create a feeling of being overwhelmed. And hence, lesser energy to deal with it. Instead, pin point the issue. There could be several – but pick the key issue that can help resolve or restore balance to the rest too.
- Make a list of your blessings or things that are working in your life (including things like your health, eyes, nose, ears, hands, legs, family, friends, or whatever else it may be). Don’t take them for granted. When you count your blessings, you can also leverage them to deal with your problems. If you forget to notice the blessings you might take them for granted or, lose them too in the process.
- Lack of responsibility or ownership – We think the problem is because of someone else. Or someone else has to change for the problem to disappear from our life. In doing so, we are failing to recognise how we may have played a role in creating the problem and how we are playing a role in continuing the problem too. There’s always something we can do about all of the problems that we face in life. The most important one being, learning from the problem instead of pitying ourselves. Every problem is offering a unique learning to us. Doesn’t matter who caused it or how it started. The fact that we find ourselves in it now is an indicator that we have something to learn from it. So it is important to take complete ownership of our learning. Only when we are ready to learn, will we also find out what needs to be done differently from our end towards solving the problem. The more we blame others for our problems, the less we’ll be able to do something about it. Own your life.
And lastly, comparing our lives to others also can cause more heart burn. Others’ lives aren’t better necessarily. They only look so from where we stand. Each have their own share to deal with. Spending much time on social media doesn’t help. It is better to be actively involved in our lives than passively interested in others’.