We are prone to wishing usually that a relationship lasts forever! It can look like a strange thought for some when I say, don’t pray for a relationship to last a lifetime. There’s a reason though. There’s a better way of asking for it. Ask for fruitful and healthy relationships – when you ask this way – fruitful and healthy relationships usually tend to stand the test of time. When you ask for lifelong relationships, you may end up with some really lasting a lifetime, but they may be toxic, unhealthy, or counter-productive too.
The key point is, everyone comes into our life for a reason and a purpose. Once that purpose is served, they naturally move away either through death or other life incidents. And incidents happen, or we do things in such a way that helps the moving on process happen easily. Else, the nature of the human mind is such that it wants to hold on and finds letting go harder unless actually demanded or left with no choice. If they don’t, then they’ll miss out on other learnings from elsewhere. If we spend time feeling bitter, we may be refusing to recognise that the universe is actually helping us attract and maintain whatever adds to our personal and spiritual growth, well-being at any point in time. Not all relationships are meant to last a lifetime because they have other places to be for their own learning and others too. Hence, there will be incidents that will help both of them move away.
When you spend a lot of time feeling bitter about past relationships, you may land up attracting more such unproductive relationships even in the present. Always be grateful for the good times in a relationship. If you trust that life is aligning to always help you learn and grow the most, you will let go of the negativity. And with a clear mind and a clear heart, you’d be able to truly identify and attract healthy relationships for yourself.
Don’t get into relationships out of fear of being alone. None of us are ever truly alone. We are always being taken care of somehow! Just don’t set hard and fast conditions on who should it be and how should it be and obsess over your preferences.
When you need it, you’ll find it. Once the need is over, either the relationships changes or evolves itself to make itself relevant to the present times. Don’t expect people to be the same always. They have to change to make way for new learnings, new realisations, and new relationships too, sometimes. If they don’t, either they might be stuck or you might be stuck – when either/both of you were actually much needed elsewhere.
Don’t lose yourself in relationships trying to find others. Find yourself in relationships so that you learn when and how to adapt in ways that are healthy for you and them too.