People are obsessing over being happy sometimes. Anything that you try too much, will slip out of your hands. When you treat other emotions as if they are a crime, you will never be at peace with yourself. And hence, happiness will be far far away. 

Before you try to quieten an agitated mind, you must observe it without judgment. People are convinced of their problems. They feel sad. They don’t like the fact that they feel sad. Because they know they have to be happy. But they are unable to feel happy. So they get disappointed it themselves. And as a result, they lose the will to hang in there. And lose hope too. The worst that could happen is not sadness. The worst that could happen is you being convinced that you can never be happy. 

The good news is, no human being can ever feel the same feeling in a sustained manner all through life. Feelings keep changing. So when you are sad, instead of questioning yourself as to why you are sad or why you are not happy, just observe that sadness (observe, not obsess, dwell or dissect it). Don’t identify with it. Observe the feeling and leave it at that. If you don’t do anything, that feeling will start fading away eventually. But the more you try to forcefully change that feeling, the more a part of you will want to resist. And hence you’ll find more reasons to hold on to the sad feeling. The sad feeling would have lost its intensity if acknowledged and left by itself. But with all the forceful tampering it gains more intensity and looks like it’s threatening your existence.

There is no rule to be happy. There is just ample room to be happy whenever you want to be. You may not want to be so right now. That’s ok. Let it be for now. Your mind will naturally find its way back to happiness when given the space and time to explore.

It’s like death – we can’t force someone to not cry as soon as it happens. Or a wound – the immediate pain will sometimes result in tears. Instead of saying don’t cry – just let them be and be there for them. They will find their way back faster when there’s no one repeatedly telling them they shouldn’t feel sad. 

And stop telling yourself too that you are doing a crime by not being happy this moment. 

Someone who isn’t able to sleep, the more you try to force yourself to sleep, the more sleep evades you. And that’s what frustrates you. Instead, challenge yourself to stay awake the entire night, unconsciously you will fall asleep. Once there’s no resistance, your body will naturally find ways to heal itself. Don’t resist! Just be whatever is naturally coming to you. Be open to learning from everything – and you’ll find your way out. This is the key! Don’t pity yourself. Don’t think you don’t deserve this or you deserve better. Self-obsession creates more reasons to be miserable. If you are open to learning from everything that happens, you’ll at least have one, if not more reasons to be proud of yourself – that is – your capacity to connect the dots, look at the big picture, and learn. This is a gift that you can give yourself any day. 

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