Half the world’s problems are not because we want bad for others but because we want good for them. 

Desperately wanting good for others, we give them more than what they want, so they can’t digest. Hence, they suffer from indigestion. 

We break rapport with others because they aren’t listening to something that we are offering with much love and good wishes. 

We force people to listen to us because we are able to see something better for them that they are unable to see currently. We want to convince them to see their shadow the way we are seeing it. Which is never possible. 

It doesn’t have to be the best. But can we be happy that they are happy? The best doesn’t give them the happiness as much as this little good is giving them. 

The most beautiful looking dress that we picked is pricking them from within. They might develop a rash as a result. They might only look good but not feel good. And if they don’t feel good, they don’t think good. And if they don’t think good, how can anything be good? But this normal looking, average dress is giving them great comfort right now. They are able to live freely. 

The healthiest food that we prepared is making them feel sick and want to die right away instead of another day. Can we find a balance between health-conscious and happiness-conscious? Can we meet them mid-way?

The costly, branded bag that we got them is not practical and useful for them. So, it’s always lying in a corner. Can we give them the one that has more utility value?

We want them to be happy. So, we are busy advising them with great intensity. Their happiness comes when we stop advising and start listening to them first; when we stop believing that we are right and they are wrong; when we stop believing that we know better than them. 

We can never be fully right about them. We can only be right in our perspective about them, based on our experience of them. Only they can be right about themselves because they live with themselves most. 

If we truly want others to be happy, we have to be happy first. We can’t make something out of someone when we aren’t that ourselves. Happiness is in wanting what they want for themselves or respecting what they want. Your happiness is in knowing what you want for yourself and being clear on that. Not being clear on what others should want for themselves. 

I think a nice sentence to repeat to ourselves every moment would be – “Mind your business” (not to others, but to ourselves). The more we mind our business, the happier we will be and the happier they will be too. 

The more we convince ourselves that we are responsible for others’ happiness, the more miserable we make ourselves and others too. We can’t create something that doesn’t exist. We can only enhance something that is existing. To enhance something, we need to know it and feel it first. 

Do we convince ourselves that we are right because we do everything with the best of intentions? And should we just continue what we are doing, even if it hurts them? Or should we stop convincing ourselves and try changing our lens?

4 Replies to “Stop wanting good for others”

  1. For me your blog is an eye opener for our acts towards others even with good intentions. Yes many time it happens when our help becomes reasons of discomfort or harmful for recipient.
    Thankyou.

    1. Thank you Shashi ji 🙂

  2. Shubharti 2 years ago

    For me your blog is an eye opener for our acts towards others even with good intentions. Yes many time it happens when our help becomes reasons of discomfort or harmful for recipient.
    It is really an inspirational(Really thanx to Arul sir and narmada mam for this type of guidence)U both r speechless person

    1. Thank you so much Shubharti ! That’s so kind of you 🙂

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: