And that is RESPECT for that thing or that person.
You can’t evaluate anything that you don’t respect. Because then you aren’t evaluating, you are being biased already.
Whether you are evaluating yourself, someone else, movies, situations, or anything for that matter, if you don’t have respect as the top-most value, then it is best to refrain from evaluating. Since you are evaluating to judge, not to understand, and your judgment may be detrimental.
Respect the process, respect the background, respect that there’s a lot that would have gone into creating what you see in front of you now.
You also have to understand that your evaluation has the capacity to break someone. And hence, be mindful never to do that. If you are evaluation isn’t helping, then it is of no use really.
When I used to watch movies in the past, I used to judge actors based on looks, on the movie based on acting and simply come to a judgment saying – “How can someone make such a bad movie.”
When I look back at all those today, I am aghast! How could I have made such harsh judgments? No one decides to make a bad movie. They put in a ton of efforts to make a great movie. But it didn’t turn out that way for various reasons – like lack of idea, understanding, skill, finances or other such things. By being so vain in judging them, I have made no better use of my own life either! How could I comment on someone’s looks? Would it be okay if someone did that to me or someone I love? Just because someone is a public personality, doesn’t mean we have the right to talk rubbish about them and pass off our entire internal poison on them through our judgments. This has been a huge learning for me – that respecting anything is most important before I set out to evaluate.
And as I say this, I am also aware that in the process, I shouldn’t be harsh on myself. I have observed that I did that. And I understand that I can do better. So, being harmfully critical isn’t going to make me do any better. How can someone do better when they feel bitter. So take care of yourself. Understand that anything you have done was out of ignorance. Now that you know better, choose better. Likewise, empower others too. No one wakes up deciding to be terrible. We all wake up wanting to be wonderful. Let’s help each other be that!