Well, firstly, how do you define casual?
Secondly, it’s casual according to whom?
Are you 100% sure it is just as casual for everyone involved?
If you see — there’s nothing totally casual. A casual remark from someone can cause a great deal of damage to you, or vice versa too. The other person might not even remember it — but it had a lasting impact on you. More casualties happen due to these so-called casual or fleeting conversations than anything else. Huge arguments and fights also start off with seemingly simple, casual conversations.
So, what do we do then? Should we have formal conversations with everyone? No! The opposite of casual is NOT formal. The opposite of casual is intentional, mindful, deliberate or caring conversations. Where we are mindful of how our ways and words may be affecting those in our environment.
We might casually commit to something or casually tell someone that we’ll be there for them. But we can’t say for sure, they took our words just as casually too. What if they have taken it seriously? That’s when we lose our credibility and gain the reputation of not living up to our words. And that could be huge damage to your personal brand.
Opposite of casual does NOT also mean having agenda-driven conversations. Have soulful conversations or have general conversations — but be mindful. Mindfulness is not hard. Mindfulness is not an effort. Mindfulness is just being fully there where you are and listening to yourself as you speak too. If you are listening to yourself, you will definitely be more prudent and effective in anything you say.
It does not mean you will never make any mistakes at all. The purpose of life is not to not make mistakes but to learn from each mistake. Having more purposeful conversations will reduce a lot of loose talks or casual talk, thereby reducing unintentional or accidental damages to your relationships.
The little that goes wrong, you can easily understand what went wrong or where you went wrong and course correct. In casual conversations, you might not even know what caused the damage to begin with.
Have lesser casual conversations to have lesser casualties.
P.S – Today, my mother told me she called a cab driver who came a few times to drop us to the airport, to enquire about his well being. He was really touched by that it seems. I thought that was a very kind and intentional gesture from her end.
Spending money or doing social work aren’t the only ways to save humanity. Having more purposeful and intentional relationships, actions and conversations can save the planet in massive ways. We might not even need social workers if we each are intentional in all of our actions and words. We wouldn’t be wasting, hoarding, splurging, or taking for granted life and all its resources. That pretty much takes care of the planet, your life, and your loved ones, don’t you think?