I always thought it has to be fair. Majority of my fights in life were for justice or my perception of it. After all these years, I have realised it’s not about justice always. For something to begin, something has to start and something has to end. In the process, justice may temporarily be off! The beginning of an end, is the beginning of much more than the end itself.
Who promised life will be fair anyway? I was only promised learning. It isn’t about justice always. It’s about my learning from them both and my ability to gather myself through it all. And again have the capacity to believe in something and stand up for something I believe in.
It may not be fair. But I need to know that’s just the way it is and learn how to deal with it better. If I get stuck in the whole idea of it not being fair, I will find myself stuck at the same point for a very long time and not find a way out. Besides, what’s fair to me may not be fair to someone else. There’s always another perspective.
I don’t intend to justify what’s not fair or spend time rationalising it. But I wouldn’t want to waste all my time cribbing about it either. It definitely gets me nothing better even if I do that. Other than the fact that I will feel bitter, defeated and play a victim, there’s no good that comes off it. It renders me powerless in my own life. On the other hand, if I think to myself, yes, that’s unjust. But now what? What next? What should I do to deal with this? I’ll at least head somewhere thinking of that. Moving somewhere is better than being stuck and stagnant.
Thinking of what I deserve might delude me from recognising what I got. That delusion can make me feel entitled and bitter. It’s not the world’s problem to grant me what I deserve. Why should it be? There are many who don’t get what they deserve. They are making their peace or trying to find their way out. And that’s the spirit. I am not here to whine and complain. I am here to rise and take charge. I am grateful when life is fair. I am humbled when it isn’t.
Life is not fair or unfair. It is just what it was meant to be, to offer me my learning! By calling it something, I get myself into a web. It prevents me from understanding. It prevents me from looking at the bigger picture. It prevents me from learning what I was here to learn.
I may have given and not gotten it back. I may have worked twice as hard to get where I got. I may have lost more than I gained. I may have tried and failed. I may have paid for something that wasn’t even mine. But it’s just life offering me the learnings. That’s all it ever was! And that’s all it’ll ever be!
The choice is always mine
Whether I want to learn or whine!
And I think it’s about time
To look beyond my limited confines
And recognise the grander design!
Therein lies my peace sublime!