Is that it comes from certainty of knowing you are right! We couldn’t be further from the truth. Being too sure that we are right, doesn’t denote confidence. It denotes something else.
It is important to never be too sure that you are right.
Be happy that you are giving your best. But don’t be too sure. If you are too sure, you won’t be open to other perspectives or other ways of doing what you are doing. You will get stagnated and sometimes even start rotting. And that feeling of being right makes you want to defend yourself to such an extent that you will be constantly fighting battles with the world. Eventually, whether you win those battles or not, you may not be happy since you are constantly fighting battles. You may just feel drained out and sometimes, frustrated even!
Confidence doesn’t come from getting things right or believing that you are doing right. Confidence means trusting oneself and one’s abilities. TRUST means reliability. Self-confidence means you are ready to rely on yourself any day because you trust that you have the capacity to learn, you have the capacity to change, you have the ability to find your way out of situations and you trust that life is constantly shaping you for your highest good.
A truly confident person has the least resistance or reluctance. They are ready to flow because they know nothing can break them or damage them. Even if something goes wrong, they trust that they can build themselves back.
A lot of people who believe they are right, don’t have confidence. That belief, if anything, makes us become arrogant (for lack of a better word). They demonstrate too much strength for the fear of being broken. It’s like a fragile bubble. They are more fearful of being proved wrong. Hence, they have a strong guard, trying to protect themselves from anyone or anything that might cause any damage to their perception, or their belief about themselves. And it’s all unconscious fears and patterns that make us be so.
A confident person is okay to be proven wrong because they see their learning in it. They are not judging themselves. They are observing and learning.
It’s like a good mother and child relationship – a mother loves her child no matter how it looks, or what it does. It is unwavering. A mother believes in her child and constantly encourages the child to realise its potential. Never doubts it based on achievements and failures. Is able to see beyond the external measures. A mother recognises the inner beauty and inner strength of the child. Can you be that mother to your own self? Can you truly understand and acknowledge yourself as a deeper human being beyond your world achievements or social stature? Can you be kind to yourself? Can you let go of the need to prove knowing that you are already accepted? Can you believe that you are unique with unique gifts that you can offer to the world? You don’t have to be better than anybody. You have to give your best every moment. And for that – you have to trust yourself. If you can, then confidence is yours!
Can you be that mother to your own self?
Your these words are saying so very much. Many time even mother knows about the weaknesses of her child but she trusts on her child’s Inner strength and beauty., even then she keeps her child’s spirit high and believes that he/she can do the best and is doing the best..I shall try my best to be my mother.
Wonderful Shashi ji! That’s a great thought! Thank you for sharing!