A lot of us carry monkeys without even knowing that we are. In the name of thinking, we carry so many monkeys that we don’t have the energy left to live life in full spirits and make the most of what life has to offer. We have ‘genuine reasons’ to not be happy, we have reasons to not be smiling and we have reasons to feel bad. These are signs that we are carrying monkeys. And it’s time to ask yourself- whose monkeys are you carrying.

Here are a few examples of what monkey business looks like:

Monkey business Healthy business
Wanting to justify and give it back to someone. Can’t sit in peace until that happens Able to let go knowing that your heart is clear and not need to prove it to them.
Prove yourself right no matter how much time has passed. Knowing that right and wrong is just a matter of perspective and it’s not real.
Spending a lot of time analyzing who’s being fake or real and wondering why Observe people and let them pass without making their story yours unless they are really important to you. Knowing that it’s not worth your time.
Stalking people to know what they are up to. Trying too hard to keep enemies closer Investing time in developing yourself and upping your skills. Not spending time looking at what others are doing just for curiosity’s sake.
Constantly blaming someone for your life Taking responsibility for your life and learning healthily from every instance.
Holding on to anger & resentment Understanding that your peace is more important than the pursuit of anger.
Waiting for someone to say sorry to you Moving on knowing that people are being what they are because they don’t know a better way to be.
Wondering why someone doesn’t like you or what’s your fault Understanding that people like or dislike us based on their story in life and not making it all about ourselves.
Playing  an old quarrel on a loop in your head & thinking of better responses from your end Look back once, learn and move ahead with the learning. Thinking of brighter times and feeling happy.
Worrying about what will happen if things don’t work out in your favor Thinking of what you want and understand what you need to do today to get what you want tomorrow.
Feeling bitter about someone doing better than you Living without comparison knowing that each soul has come here with their own story.
Feeling insecure thinking of things that could possibly go wrong Feeling secure knowing that you are a child of the universe and it will never abandon you.
Feeling cheated and waiting for judgment time when justice will be delivered to you Knowing that nothing happens without a reason. Fully trusting that no one can ever take away anything from you that’s truly yours. And everything is here to offer  learning and make you better than yesterday.

The important part is, notice that they are monkeys! Don’t own them! They’ll jump away to the next tree or branch. Don’t try to control them, avoid them, or direct them. Just notice they are monkeys up to their monkey business. A thought gets energy only when we pay attention to it. Otherwise, they keep moving like clouds. Pay attention to what you really want in life. Be attracted to something. These distractions will automatically go away.

It’s bad enough that we carry our monkeys. It’s even worse when we borrow monkeys from others and carry it on their behalf. Again, like I always say, it’s okay to be not okay for a short while. But don’t dwell in them. Don’t make misery mandatory in life.

A simple technique that might help you – notice when you are thinking of some negative thought – how are you thinking about it – Do you see an image, do you hear a sound, do you feel something in some part of your body? If you see an image – is it colour? Is it in front of you? Is it a big size? If so, make it black and white, make it small, and push it to a far-away corner on your left or right or even behind you. You will be amazed to see that you won’t be able to think of the same thought with the same intensity anymore. If it helps – add some funny music as a backdrop to that thought too. The way you feel about it will fully change. This is called dissociation in NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). It’s super simple and super powerful. In simple terms, dissociation means you are thinking of something without getting emotionally involved. So, your thought will not pain you or affect you anymore. Isn’t it a wonderful way to set yourself free?

One Reply to “Whose monkeys are you carrying?”

  1. Excellent article..very practical

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