Imagine this –
It’s a loved one’s birthday, so you wanted to give them something. There are several ways to go about it (nothing right or wrong. Different strokes for different folks, as they say):
- Give them money and ask them to buy whatever they want
- Ask them what they want and buy it
- Put in a lot of thought and effort and buy something for them
And, there are several ways of giving it too –
- Hand it over to them saying happy birthday
- Keep it on the table and ask them to take it
- Gift-wrap it and present it to them
- Make the moment so memorable by presenting it in a way that makes them feel special (Note: This doesn’t involve moving mountains. It only involves making a moment special).
Here’s what they do with the gift-
- They take it and thank you for it
- They like it so they keep it
- They don’t like it much so they recycle it or exchange it
- It’s not about the gift but the way you give was so memorable that they cherish it for a lifetime.
Likewise, when you appreciate — there are several ways of doing it:
- You say, ‘good job’ and leave it at that
- You talk about yourself and how they remind you of yourself
- You list out their qualities — like loving, kind, intelligent, adorable, etc.
- You tell them what they are good at and what they can do better
- You appreciate them with all your heart, listing not only their qualities but also the incidents with them that you remember the most. And let them know what that means to you or the positive effect they had on you
This could be their possible responses:
- Respond with ‘thank you’ but never really know what you appreciated in them.
- They might feel it as a compliment or not depending on how much they look up to you.
- They thank you but might not know where and how you saw the qualities so they may not internalize and remember. They may just remain as some words.
- They are more likely to remember your advice and might not remember that you also appreciated them.
- Even if they ever forget what you said, they’ll always remember how you made them feel special. It will be a memorable experience.
So, what would you wanna do?