How to improve your communication

There’s no point crying for what we don’t have, 

When we don’t make use what we already have. 

When we feel bad for ourselves that our communication skills aren’t good, what does it mean? The words are there, but we don’t know how to put them together nicely? Or, we don’t know fancy words? Or, our grammar is incorrect?

Have you ever been to a rural area or any place where people don’t know your standard language but yet, try to communicate with you in some broken form of it? Did you ever wonder what goes on in their head as they communicate to you in that broken and non-fluent way? Do they evaluate themselves and keep doubting their capabilities? No! The only thing that they are thinking of – is how to put their point across to you. That’s it! There’s no sense of – 

“Can I put this point across nicely.” 

Only – “How can I put this point across in a way that they understand it.”

If you notice, we mostly appreciate these kinds of people who try communicating with us somehow or the other – using a combination of languages, symbols, gestures, expressions, etc. We don’t evaluate their communication skills. We rather admire them for their genuine efforts in trying to put their point across to us. This means it is not the presence of language, grammar, fancy words, or fluency that makes one a great communicator. It is how passionately one tries to put their point across to others that makes them a wonderful communicator. If it was just words and grammar then everyone who knew words should have been a great communicator. But are they?

Doubting is a bad habit. Today you doubt yourself, tomorrow you will doubt others too. There’s no end to it. It is a disease that spreads without your knowledge. Self- doubt pulls down the little that you know and replaces it with fear. If you truly want to communicate, below are a few things that will help:

• Firstly, remember that you can communicate because you know words. Be grateful for it! Unless you are grateful, you won’t be able to leverage anything. 
• Be interested in what you are saying. If you are not interested in what you are saying, no one else will be too!
• Remember what’s your purpose for communicating. 
• Be passionate about your purpose 
• Don’t evaluate and judge yourself 
• Stop thinking about what others must be thinking – don’t do two things at a time. Do one thing at a time, which is focusing on what you want to communicate and what you are thinking.
• Stop being self-obsessed. Which means only focused on yourself, how you may come across, how others see you, how your communication is, how you are feeling, how much fear you have etc. – are all being extremely involved with ourselves. When we are so involved with ourselves, we forget the purpose of communication, we forget the others, we forget everything else. Only our fear stands out. So, if you are unable to look beyond your fear, then it’s time to remind yourself that you are being self-obsessed. The minute you tell yourself that, you will look beyond yourself and your fears and find the joy in communicating. 

Fluency in a language doesn’t equate to good communication skills. Fluency has been over-rated. A good communicator is the one who knows what they want to communicate and tries to find ways to put it across to the others in a way that they understand. This is something that all of us can do if we genuinely intend to do it. Your smile itself communicates more than your 1000 words. There are people who know language and everything that goes with it – but forget to put on a smile. That distances them from others. A pleasant personality is an inviting personality. People will want to listen when we smile. Our fears go away when we smile. We feel more confident when we smile. The world looks better when there are smiling faces rather than grumpy faces. Your key ornament is that! And it doesn’t cost anything. Relax! Let loose! Drop your self-doubts and fear! Smile and start talking! Enjoy it! And you’ll be the best at it! Not because you are better than others but because you believe in yourself!